Is Love REALLY Worth It?
by NightBeast
Summary: Sakura is your average high school student. She questions this human emotion called love that everyone at one point in time goes through. She wants to know if the risks are worth it or if she should just give up on it. Please R&R! Thanks! NightBeast
1. Chapter 1

Have you ever wanted to be different than everyone around you? Have you ever wanted to look each and every person around you in the eye and tell them just how low, disgusting, and utterly despicable they're being? How much you are disappointed that you are associated with such human beings? Wanting so badly to fit in with them but becoming disappointed in yourself for such foolish longings? When you look at the people you call friends, and know that each and every one of them is probably talking shit about you behind your back, doesn't it make you sick? Confronting them about it wouldn't solve anything because they would sit there and deny it until they're blue in the face. Granted, some of them I wouldn't mind making blue in the face but I guess that just makes me morbid.

I guess to give some credit to my closest friends, Ino, TenTen, Temari, and Hinata, there are some rare people that are really legit. Those are the people that I have considered myself lucky to have found. The one or two, in this case four, people that are actually real, that have hearts and souls and care about human emotion and feeling, these are the people that the world needs more of. And I know that no matter what happens, they have my back. There isn't anything that they wouldn't do for me, and I would gladly lay down my life for them were they in need of it (not gonna lie, if that day never happens, I will NOT complain!).

I met somebody. He is really hot, not taking no for an answer from any of the guys, a general bad boy image going on. I have absolutely no idea why I like him so much. I mean, looking at him, he's the person that I want to erase from planet Earth. Hell, that's pretty much everyone that I want gone from this planet. Which could be both bad and good for me. Bad because I couldn't reproduce EVER, but good because I wouldn't have to put up with their idiocy.

Thinking about this guy is all I can seem to do lately. I really want to stop, honestly I do. But there are just some things that, no matter how often you tell your mind or your heart, they just don't ever seem to listen. And it kind of really sucks. There is no other way of describing it. I want so badly to believe that he's just like me, just as disgusted with human kind, but a huge part of me is afraid of being hurt by the possibility that he could be acting that way just around me for me to be another notch on his belt. Which would suck even more than being alone. Having your heart torn from your body, then crushed mercilessly into a million little broken pieces in front of your very eyes. Not to mention the whole entire student population.

Well, here's crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. I mean, I guess being alone is better than having my heart blown to pieces, right? Or is this that one time where people say that it's ok to take a leap and attempt to do the unthinkable? Falling in love with someone is both horrible and wonderful, and considering that I'm the product of a divorced marriage, I'm not quite sure that the risk is worth it. Looking at both of my parents and seeing how miserable they both have made each other both in the past and present is a very depressing factor…

The life of Me (A.k.a. Sakura Haruna)  
>P.S. Don't shoot me if you don't like it! It's not my responsibility that you guys chose to read my boring life story. So, as you tread ever-so-carefully thru these very fragile pages of my journal, I hope that you are both sympathetic and condemning as you see what exactly I went through on my journey to answer this question: Is love REALLY worth the risk?<p>

~ Is Love REALLY Worth It ~  
>Chapter 1<br>Pairing: SasuSaku  
>NaruHina<br>NejiTenTen  
>ChojIno<br>ShikaMari

DISCLAIMER! I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS OR THE MANGA/ANIME FROM WHICH THEY ORIGINATE! The only thing that is strictly mine is this story. Hope you enjoy reading it! =]

"Sakura! Hurry up or you will be late for school today!" Sakura's mom threatened from the bottom of the stairs.

"Mom! I said that I'm up and getting ready! I know how long I have before I'm late. I'll be down in a second!" Sakura shouted back, highly agitated.

"Whatever. Don't say 'I told you so' when you're late and get a detention." She paused when she heard the doorbell ring. She went to answer it because Sakura heard the door open and her mom greet the guests. "Hello, girls! Sakura is upstairs getting ready. Why don't you go on up there and encourage her to get her ass moving faster?"

_Great. I wonder which of my friends is here cuz they really WILL move me out of the door before I'm ready to leave!_ Bracing herself for the girls to barge right through the entryway, she waited, but no one came barging in. The door opened, slowly, and there stood Ino and Temari. "Hey, guys, what's up?"

"We were just on our way to school and figured that we'd stop in and see if you were still here since you weren't answering your cell phone." Ino said, hands on her hips.

Temari just stood there, arms crossed, assessing my outfit. "My my, Sakura, what are you doing wearing a mini skirt?"

_Shit. How do I explain to them about Sasuke? _"I just thought that I would broaden my horizons?" She finished lamely.

"Funny. We know about your little crush, your _infatuation_ with Sasuke Uchiha. We don't understand it because he's a total ass and a douche bag , but hey, that's up to you." Ino said, not pulling any punches.

"Guys, I don't know why I like him. It's just, you see, he makes my heart….I don't know how to explain it. It's not like anything that I've ever felt before for anyone. I see him and it's like everything in my world is right again. It's this weird feeling. My body gets all warm and my heart jumps, skipping a few beats, then it feels like it's soaring like a bird through the sky." Sakura said, getting this far off dreamy look in her eyes.

"Wow. That's kinda amazing that it's happened to you, but I also kinda pitty you for the sole fact of who it is that you've fallen for." Temari said sympathetically.

"I know, trust me, I know. I've my reservations about it as well. I wish that I didn't have such strong feelings for him. If I could take them from my heart and just erase them, I would. It hurts me to know that I have feelings for someone who is cold-hearted and has such a careless attitude. I wish that I could just forget him and for my cheeks to not turn all pink and blush whenever I look at him…" Sakura trailed off, not quite sure why she had gone on so much.

"Girl, what have we taught you? You must let him come to you if anything is gonna work out in the end! You have to make him want YOU, not just put yourself on a platter and say, 'Here I am, Big Boy, enjoy the meal until your finished with me and find the next bit of juicy steak.' That's just not how it works!" Ino said, shaking her head and rolling her eyes.

"Well, in my opinion, it's ok to try to get his attention. If you're gonna get his attention, you have to play it cool. Don't just turn into a puddle at his feet. Be cool, aloof, and make him want you to notice him." Temari said, a gleam in her eyes.

"Girls, please don't start. I'm fine just the way that I am. I don't even know that I want anything out of this. He's too….fake for me." Sakura said, and with that they all fell silent, each going down different trails in their thoughts, all imagining what this interesting situation's outcome will be.

THE END  
>(To Be Continued, though, of course)<p>

A.N.  
>As a side note, I'd like to apologize to those who have been reading my other stories. I fully intend to wrap those up within this month, as well as keep this one up to date. I'm aiming for a weekly update. Friday updates are sounding really good right about now! *crossing fingers* Anyways, you know the slogan, <strong>PLEASE R&amp;R!<strong> You guys will be doing me a huge favor so that I know what to put in my next chapter!


	2. Chapter 2

You know those days where you're really not in the mood to do anything? Well, today was one of those days. I just didn't wanna get up and go to school. Yeah, I know, you need school in order to get a good paying job in order to support yourself, but right now I really didn't care. I was too focused on the fact that NO ONE around me was real, and that the love interest of my life didn't even know that I existed. I was miserable, and now my friends knew that I liked him thanks to their impromptu visit this morning. Sometimes I love them, but I'm under the impression that it's ok to loathe them at times. I didn't say hate because I could NEVER hate them. Never, ever, could I hate them.

~ Is Love REALLY Worth It ~  
>Chapter 2<p>

The girls walked into the building, each one not wanting to be there. It was a Monday morning in April, school was coming to an end, and no one wanted to go through the last few weeks. Senior papers were starting to come up, rough drafts were already in the homework schedule and due soon. Senior projects were also looming closer, those were in May.

"Hey Sakura!" TenTen shouted. "Why are you so dressed up?" She came over and nudged Sakura. "You look nice though!" She winked at Sakura, causing her to blush.

"Um…well…you see…." Sakura trailed off, sending desperate, pleading glances towards her other two friends.

"Hey TenTen! Where's Hinata?" Temari asked, trying to throw Sakura a lifeline. Sakura sent her a look of gratitude and mouthed, "Thank you." Temari just smiled back at her.

"She is running very late this morning. But something makes me wonder what's been up with her lately. Something just seems….very off. But I can't put my finger on it." TenTen paused. "Sakura, what are you doing today after school?"

"Well, I'm probably gonna read some of the assigned reading, then go for a walk." She paused to look towards Temari. "It's really nice outside, and I'd love to walk to the beach." She paused again, this time looking around the whole room. "Why don't we all meet up at my house and go for a walk?"

"That sounds like fun!" Ino exclaimed, clapping her hands in excitement.

"I agree. A walk outside in this nice summer air would do me some good." TenTen replied, warming to the idea.

"Great! Now we just need to pass the news on to Hinata and we're good. What time do you want us to meet up, Sakura?" Temari asked.

"Why don't we plan for 7 or 7:30?" Sakura said, thinking about the evening ahead.

They all nodded their agreement, then proceeded to part ways to go to their respective classes.

Sakura sat in study hall later on that afternoon, not really in the mood to do anything. This was her thinking period, the time where she put a lot of her thoughts from her pen to the paper lying in front of her. She sat right behind Sasuke, which kind of aggravated her to no end. She'd rather be in front of him, that way she wouldn't have to sit there and stare at the back of his head, dreaming of things that she knew that she could NEVER have. _Just keep dreaming, Sakura-girl. Just keep all of your thoughts to dreams. Having them turn into reality probably isn't something that you want._

She took out her journal from her book bag and flipped open to the next empty page. She took one last look at the back of his head, then began to write.

_Dear Journal,_

_Today had an interesting start. I got to get lectured by my friends over my obsession with Sasuke, and how I know that he's not the greatest person that I could want to love me, but it's who I'm stuck with. No one seems to understand that I know that he's no good. I know that he will hurt me if we ever did go out. Do I know that it's a long shot? Yes. Yes, I do. Do I wish that it were something that would happen before Friday? Yes. Yes, I very much do. *sigh* What does a girl around here need to do to find someone who isn't a douche bag or will completely rip your heart out of your chest, squeeze it in an iron fist, then proceed to smash it into a million pieces on the ground, rubbing them deeper into the ground with their shoe after shattering it. *laughs* I honestly would love to see a guy who isn't like that. Someone who will chase after the girl of his dreams, someone who isn't as focused on sex and having an ornament on his arm, but someone who actually has brains, now THAT would be someone that I wouldn't hesitate to fall in love with. But of course, go figure, I needed to fall in love with the proverbial bad boy who probably would LOVE to eat me for lunch._

"Excuse me."

Sakura looked up at the voice, and her deer-caught-in-the-headlights look was directed at none other than the object of her most frustration. "Y-y-yes?"

"Do you happen to have an extra pencil that I could borrow?" Sasuke asked, voice calm, not even giving recognition to her stuttering.

"S-s-sure. J-j-just g-g-give me a s-s-second…" Sakura's cheeks flushed, and she bent to look in her book bag, digging around on the bottom. She found a pencil, and took it out, handing it to Sasuke. "Here you go."

"Thanks." He flashed her his famous Sasuke grin, the grin that every girl dies to have directed at her just once in her life, and turned around in his seat so that the back of his head was directly in front of her again.

_He is so hot. Oh my goodness he asked me for my pencil! *inwardly squeals* I have no idea what I'm gonna tell the girls! Of course, they're gonna wanna know about this! Well, that'd involve me telling TenTen and Hinata all about my obsession for Sasuke, but I think that this incident is worth spilling. _She paused for a second. _Calm down there, Sakura. You're turning into one of those silly girls that have school girl crushes and are obnoxious and you always wanna punch them in the face. Don't get all girly and squealy over this. Don't let yourself turn into one of those._ Getting a grip on her inner self, she picked up the pencil and started writing again.

_I wish that I didn't have to write this down, but I know that I really want to. So, here goes nothing. I was just asked by Sasuke Uchiha in study hall today if he could borrow my pencil! I wish that I could say that I didn't stutter, but I couldn't help it! It was sooooooo unexpected! I think that my jaw had dropped down to the floor, and he was probably laughing at me, but I don't care! He asked me to borrow my pencil! I actually think that I am alright with my liking Sasuke. _

_I think that this is necessary to this journal entry, so I will put it in. You see, Sasuke and I grew up together. We had actually at one point in time been best friends, living next door to each other. This is way before his father got rich with his investments and the prospering of his company. We used to play together all the time, and his brother Itachi would always tease us because he thought that we were "the cutest couple that he'd ever seen." It used to make me blush and Sasuke would get so irritated with Itachi. _

_I admit, I did have a HUGE crush on him back then, as well, but he moved away. I remember that day clearly. He swore to me that he'd always be my friend, always be there to protect me from all the guys who would want to hurt and use me, and just be my best friend. I started crying. I needed him to stay with me and I didn't understand why his parents had to move away to a different area. It was hard on us because we were inseparable, practically attached to the hip at every turn. _

_Before he left, he gave me a gift. He wanted me to keep it so that I could always remember him. We were only 8 at the time, and him giving me that gift before he left made it that much more harder on me to let him go. He held out his hand, and inside of it, he held the most precious bracelet I'd even seen. It had pink and green strings woven in an intricate pattern, and it held a cherry blossom charm. He had told me he'd made it especially for me. _

"Sakura, are you gonna get ready to leave? The bell rang two minutes ago!" Her teacher asked, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"Oh….uh….sorry!" She quickly closed her journal, not wanting the teacher to see her writing and ask her questions.

"Not a problem." The teacher paused, then said, "Have a good afternoon, Sakura."

* * *

><p>You know the slogan, <strong>PLEASE R&amp;R!<strong> You guys will be doing me a huge favor so that I know what to put in my next chapter!

To Be Continued Of Course!

~NightBeast


	3. Chapter 3

What's more embarrassing than being the last one sitting in your study hall? I have no idea. It was so embarrassing to have the teacher have to tell me that study hall was over. Most students usually rush out of study hall, in a rush to get out of the boring silence. What was wrong with me today? Oh yeah. Sasuke asked me to borrow my pencil. Now I feel like the proverbial school girl with a huge crush on this super hot guy. Oh wait. That's exactly what's going on. How wonderful. (That was sarcasm to anyone who didn't catch it.)

~ Is Love REALLY Worth It ~  
>Chapter 3<p>

Sakura rushed out of the classroom, cheeks flushed, and hurried to her locker.

"Sakura! Wait up!" Temari called out. Once she caught up, she asked, "What's wrong? Are you sick?" She held up her hand to Temari's forehead.

"No….the most embarrassing thing EVER happened in study hall…" Sakura trailed off, her blush deepening. "Sasuke asked to borrow my pencil and I went all stupid…."

"Oh no….Sakura I'm sorry!" Temari said sympathetically, understanding exactly what Sakura had meant.

"It's ok." She paused, then burst out, "He didn't give it back!"

"What? Did he steal your virginity or something?" Ino joked, not having heard any of the conversation.

Sakura blushed. "Very funny Temari."

"Yeah, give the girl a break! She may be good, but I don't think that she's THAT good!" Temari said, causing Sakura to blush even more.

Sakura tried to distract the girls by reminding them that they were all going to hang out later on in the evening. "Would anyone like to make our evening into a picnic while we watch the sunset, and just have girl time? We haven't had girl time in a really long time."

"That sounds like fun! I know that I could bring the basket and the blanket, and girl time is much needed!" Ino said, and Temari and TenTen instantly agreed with her.

"What's this about a walk?" a shy, quiet voice said from behind Sakura.

"Oh, hi Hinata! Where have you been?" Sakura said, curiosity showing all over her face. "We had discussed the walk earlier, but you weren't there."

Hinata blushed, making the girls even more curious. "I was...I was just..." she trailed off, her face a lovely shade of red. It looked like she'd spent way too long on the beach and was burnt to a crisp!

"What's his name?" Temari asked, nudging her.

"Wh-wh-what do you mean?" She asked, ducking her head shyly.

"You know exactly what she's saying." Ino said, winking at her.

"Alright you guys! Give her a break!" Sakura said, sympathizing with her due to her current situation.

"Sakura, you ruin all the fun!" Temari said, mock pouting.

"Oh shush Temari." Sakura said, rolling her eyes. "Alright guys. I'll see you around 7 at my house. Let's all pitch in for this, eh? Hinata, you bring the drinks, Ino has the basket and blanket, Temari why don't you bring an appetizer or something, TenTen, you can bring desert, and I'll provide the main dish. Sound good?"

They all agreed, then split to go to their last class.

* * *

><p>Sakura hated her afternoon classes because she had them all with Sasuke. She had the torture of watching her every move, not sure if he was even paying her the slightest bit of attention. She didn't want to look like she didn't know anything, nor did she want to be the class nerd. Neither were very good options, and the only one that was left was to try and walk that fine line between knowing all the answers and not knowing anything. Right. Just be an average student. Don't stand out, just be the best actress that you can.<p>

That's easier said than done, especially in her math class.

"Sakura, what's the answer to problem number 45? It looks like the majority of the class had a problem with solving it." her teacher asked her, coming to stand next to her desk, wanting to see her work or have her answer the question.

"Um..." she looked down at her notebook, and she knew that she had the right answer. She hadn't had any problems with the homework, and math was one of her strong subjects.

"Why don't you start off by reading off the problem?" the teacher suggested, trying to encourage her to read the problem.

" Question: For some positive real number 'a', the first 3 terms of a geometric progression are a - 1, a + 3, and 3a + 1. What is the numeric value of the fourth term? The answer choices are as follows: A is 25, B is 32, C is 36, D is 100, and E is 9."

"Now, how did you choose to solve it?" The teacher tried coaxing, hoping that it would help her to volunteer to solve the problem. You see, the teacher knew that she wasn't dumb. She was perhaps the smartest student in his class. And she really hated acting like she was dumb.

"Um, well, you see..." Sakura trailed off, trying desperately to think of something, but found nothing that would excuse her answering the question. She sighed, knowing that there really wasn't one good enough, and if anything she would just embarrass herself even more by trying to get out of it. "The answer I got is as follows, along with the work that I did:  
>a + 3 = k(a - 1)<br>3a + 1 = k(a + 3)

(a + 3)(a + 3) = (3a + 1)(a - 1)  
>a2 + 6a + 9 = 3a2 - 2a - 1<br>2a2 - 8a -10 = 0  
>a2 - 4a -5 = 0<br>The solutions of this equation are 5 and -1. The only positive solution is 5, so the progression is 4, 8, 16. The fourth term will be 16·2 = 32 " She paused, not daring to look around the classroom, so she looked right up at her teacher, and decided that she could care less about everyone else. The look of pride on his face made up for any embarrassment that she woulda felt.

"Very well done, Sakura. Very well done." The class session continued, and they were assigned more homework, which she knew that she would have fun doing later. Math never bothered her very much, and she loved the constant challenge that she faced.

* * *

><p>Sakura stood in front of her locker, her last class done, and packed up her bag, thinking about study hall that day. She hadn't talked to him since the day he left. He'd promised to write letters, but he never did. She tried not to hold it against him, but for some reason she faulted just him for everything. She thought back to his promise.<p>

_As he'd handed her the bracelet, he'd said, "I promise to write you about all of my adventures! I don't want you to ever forget me, because I won't ever forget you!" She had just stood there, tears streaming down her face, not understanding why her best friend had to leave. _

_That night, she'd sat at her kitchen table, her parents trying to get her to eat, but she didn't want to. Not if Sasuke were leaving. She tried to ask her mom why he had to go, why he couldn't just live with them, but she said that Sasuke's mommy would miss him. "But I'd miss him so much more!" she had shouted, then ran up to her room. Her father was going to get up to stop her, but her mother had laid a hand on his arm, stopping him from getting up. She knew that I was just upset. Heartbroken. She knew that all my childhood dreams were being destroyed. _

_I was a shell of a person once he'd left. I didn't really have many friends, and I didn't have any desires to make any. I wanted my best friend back. Everyone else just sucked. _

_Finally, I met TenTen, Hinata, Temari, and Ino. We all instantly became fast friends, and sooner or later my memories of hurt and pain towards Sasuke leaving faded, leaving me with just a bracelet and my fond memories of my love that I had for him. _

_Needless to say, finding him back at my high school my senior year of school was a huge shock! I didn't even know what to say or do! But soon that was all solved because he didn't say anything to me. Well, anything special. The first time that I laid eyes on him in all those years, my heart froze, and I wanted to run to him and throw my arms around his neck, and ask him where he's been all these years. I kept walking towards him, and was about to say something when out of the corner of my eye I saw a girl running towards him. She kissed him enthusiastically, giggled, and snuggled into his chest. I was frozen into place, not able to look away but hating myself for looking at the man of my dreams in someone else's arms. _

_"Hello, Sakura. It's been awhile, yes?" Sasuke had said, cool voice and all. _

_ARE YOU SERIOUS? My mind had screamed. I steeled myself and said, "Yes, yes it has, Sasuke." And I just kept walking, not even bothering to give him the time of day. THIS WAS RIDICULOUS!_

Snapping out of walking down memories lane, she grabbed her sweatshirt and walked out of the school building, towards her car so that she could go home. And get away from all the memories that were causing her to be depressed.

TO BE CONTINUED!

* * *

><p>A.N.<br>This is the website that I got the math equation from. I wanted to cite it so that I wasn't stealing someone else's work.  
>*I tried to post the website, but for some reason it won't let me. The title of the site is Free Test Online, and it's under the math stuff*<p>

Hope you enjoyed!

~NightBeast


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